We are worried about other’s opinions. We think that if we please all these people it will move us to another level and suddenly our self-esteem will increase. Whoa. Parents get into this, don’t they? Oftentimes parents push their children in different activities thinking that if their children perform and do really well, it will increase their self-esteem and they will be able to move up a notch. I am a parent. Look at how good my child is.
And sometimes we hook up with people in relationships who have some serious hang-ups regarding self-esteem. And we even date people like that since it makes us feel better about ourselves. We kind of rescue the other person. “Oh, you are dealing with that? Well, not me. Boy, you have a lot of problems. But I feel really great about myself.” Then we do something else. I call it the double dis. And before I get into this let me say the following. If you ever are around someone who dogs and dises themselves or others, they are just a walking, neon lit advertisement for a negative self-esteem. Here is how we do the double dis.
We put ourselves down, rip ourselves apart hoping that others in our little group or clique will disagree. Then they tell us that we are really great at something and it will bring us to another level. “Oh, no, you haven’t picked up pounds. You are looking lean.” And we think that will raise our self-esteem. “You know I am really not that good at tennis.” We hope our friends will disagree. “Not good? You are great at tennis. You are incredible.” That raises us to another level. Then we dis other people. We dis our competitors. We are negative about them. We think if we tear others down, it will kind of push us up. Again, it is not going to get the job done. It is not going to take you where you need to go. We try to solidify our self-esteem from the outside in.© Copyright 2012 admin, All rights Reserved. Written For: Ed Young Jr